Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
