drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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