If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize