So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
