im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
