When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
