My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
