got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
