I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
