Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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