My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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