If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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