Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
