The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize