Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A+ Viking dick
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
