Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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