Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
