How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
