i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize