were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
