Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
