Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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