If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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