i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
