Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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