I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
