He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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