Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am midnight drunk by noon
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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