I think scott just propositioned me for sex
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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