Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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