Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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