I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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