In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
