The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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