at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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