; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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