thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
