I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
