And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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