I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
These tits shall not be calmed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
