Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
