yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
