I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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