when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
