I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
