I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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