Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
