they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
