high people should be assigned attendants
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
