Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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