Fuck appropriateness.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
