my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize