I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
