U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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