Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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