dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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