So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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